Friday, January 20, 2012

I'm SO [im]perfect, It's not even funny.

I'm not skinny, and I'm not going to pretend to be.

Yes, when you look at my before and after pictures, the difference seems VERY dramatic, but would you like to know how much I weigh?

140lbs. I am still curvy, and I will probably ALWAYS be proportioned this way... but I love it.

My goal for the juice cleanse was not JUST to lose weight, but to get my body healthy from the inside as well. It sounds cliché, but it's the truth. What kind of life can you live when you don't want your own husband to touch you, especially when he's a ruggedly handsome dude?

I've also never let the scale rule my life. Ever since I hit puberty, I've had some va-va-voom hips and a booty to match. In 8th grade, I won "Biggest Appetite" in the yearbook. My jeans size would always surprise my friends, because I carry my weight pretty well.

These classic lyrics define my body shape to a T: Baby Got Back. Ha.

Anyway, I think the main point I am trying to get people to realize is that I still look like a normal woman, and I have not suddenly transformed into some kind of Super-Healthinator. I still juice daily and eat WAY better than I ever have in my life, but I have my moments of weakness. My battle with food will be an ongoing conflict that I will probably have to deal with for the rest of my life.

So, for the readers who keep asking me "How much weight did you gain back?" and "What do you eat when you end the cleanse?", here are some additional Questions Answered, Part Deux.

1. Don't you just gain all of the weight back? Um, NO! 60 days gave me quite a long time to learn how to listen to my body. Going through this cleanse was like having an epiphany about eating. It didn't matter how many hours I spent at the gym, or how hard or how long I ran, because my diet stayed the same so my BODY stayed the same. My weight fluctuates about 5lbs both ways (which I think is the norm, right?). I am happy to say that I have a closet full of new jeans and I am lovin' the way they fit. :-)

2. What did you eat after the cleanse ended? Like you may have seen in a previous post, I had a fish taco as my first meal. I wish I could say I weaned myself back into solid foods by eating fruits, veggies and smoothies (as recommended by the Reboot team), but like I said... I am totally addicted to food. Once I knew my juice cleanse was almost over, my brain became FIXATED on fish tacos. The only other time I remember craving something that bad was

A. When I worked at Hooters (yeah, yeah, I know.) and I couldn't get enough of the hot buffalo shrimp. Those things are NO JOKE. Thank God I had a high metabolism.

B. When I was pregnant and I seriously could not get enough Pepsi into my system. I don't even DRINK soda (or coffee!), but if I could have safely absorbed Pepsi intravenously, I would have.

Folks, listen to the experts. If I could do it over again, I would have eaten raw foods. Unfortunately, I am impatient and imperfect, so I went as healthy as I could while still making something that would make my mouth happy. My stomach didn't hurt or bloat or anything similar (until I ate cheese), but I may have just been lucky...

3. I can't find the 60-Day program on the site...?? They don't actually have the 60-day cleanse that Joe Cross completed in the documentary as a program option on the Reboot website. It is a potentially risky, VERY difficult fast, and they probably want to play it safe by offering shorter versions. AGAIN, before diving headfirst into the full 60 days...


4. So, wait, you STILL aren't a doctor? Erm, no. As I said before, I am not a doctor, dietician, or nutritionist. All I can do is explain what worked for me, and back up my information with some linkage.

I don't know how to end this, so I just want all of you to know...


...I bought a Shake Weight.

Let the judgments begin. :-)

At my most miserable. No, Kristen! Don't eat the cake!

At my most memorable. Just a reminder that thin ≠ healthy.

My most recent pictures are in the "Boudoir" post (that's all you get, ladies and gents)... healthy and working on myself. :-)


  1. your blog is keeping me inspired! I am on day 6 right now and let me tell you it is waaaaay easier! I keep a photo of myself at my goal weight as the back ground on my phone so that keeps me inspired too! haha.
    Love your blog

  2. Thank you for reading, I'm glad my words are helping you! :-)

  3. Love your blog. I'm at 145lbs right now (pre-preg weight), but pre-preg clothes don't fit! I'm working out a lot right now, but I don't necessarily want to lose weight, just get healthy. Question: Did your stretch marks go away once you lost the weight? Thanks!

  4. The only stretch marks I have on both sides of my hips from 8th grade, when my hips and booty decided to make an appearance. Luckily, I never got them during pregnancy. I haven't noticed mine fading at all, but I would be curious to hear from other people if they have stretch marks that lighten after juicing...? Unfortunately, I think a little sunshine and time are the two biggest factors in stratch mark fading, but HEY, all bodies are different!

  5. I would never have guessed that you were 140lbs. I weigh 130lbs but you look so much smaller! I have a very rounded bum which makes wearing little clothes a pain. And a little pot belly no matter how much I work out! Though I have a feeling that's from sugar and wheat (things I only have once a week or so).

    How tall are you?