I'm Not Crying, I'm Just Allergic to Exercise...

"I know now that I know nothing."

I didn't hear this phrase from anywhere, it literally just popped into my head after my first ever nausea-inducing workout with trainer girl.  Then I started bawling like a baby. 

Instead of spouting my new found knowledge to everybody about REAL exercise versus lightly jogging on the treadmill for twenty minutes, I figured it would be smart to plug that phrase into the ole' Google search engine and see what happened.

Hey!  Whaddya know?  WISDOM.

I'm sure I've subconsciously heard this phrase many times over the course of my life, but it makes me wonder why it would pop into my head NOW?  I've had to deal with much harder situations in life than just making my muscles sore. 

Regardless, I'm glad my brain decided to gift this phrase to me.  It's pretty humbling, right?  I keep pushing myself more than I ever have before when I work out with trainer girl, and I end up crying fifty percent of the time. 

After one particularly grueling regime, I had pulled a muscle and let her know.  She told me to roll this foam thingy over my muscle, and I just started sobbing.  She cocked her head to one side while I was busy apologizing and told me that exercise was spiritual, and that most of her clients cry at some point.

I'm not really religious, so I'm not going to get into religion, but I like that word. 

Spiritual.  It sounds so zen for such an intense moment. 

So the moral(s):  Knowing that I know nothing has allowed me to push myself harder than ever before.  BUT.  Keepin' it spiritual has allowed me to NOT push myself to the point of sickness, so I can take a step back and say "Hey, my muscle hurts.  I think I should cool it.", or "I'm going to puke if I push myself any harder, time to close my eyes and stand over a fan."

What's the rush, anyway?  I want a life change, so I'm going to take my sweet time and just be a sponge.  A tired, weepy, restless, sore, anxious, smelly sponge.

Sponge? No way... this gal's a ShamWow!

Eat Less, Move More.

Sounds fairly simple, right?

I know it's been a few months since I've written, but I want to be CONFIDENT in what I write regarding health (plus we've been SO BUSY here!). These past weeks have been completely geared towards exercise and diet research by yours truly. :-)

I walked in to my ($5 per month) gym one weekend and commented to one of the front desk staff about how intimidated I was by all of the equipment, AND I can't afford a personal trainer, which deters me even more. I've literally been immersed in youtube.com videos about how to properly use each machine, just so I didn't look like a fool when I finally got the guts to try some out.

The guy behind the desk was completely sympathetic to my irrational fears of the equipment! He said to come back and he would not only show me a few machines, but he could also give me some diet tips. Um, OKAY!

I went back the next week, and here is where the stars aligned for me.

The front desk girl said the guy I spoke with would be an hour late. I didn't have too much free time that morning, so she casually said "Have you used your free personal training session?". I had actually signed up MONTHS ago, but I didn't expect a call. I used to work the desk at a Gold's Gym in Virginia, and the trainers there would roll their eyes and complain about how people just wanted them to quickly show them every single machine, all the while whining about how they can't afford any more sessions after the free one.

I agreed to meet with the trainer that was there, who just happened to have free time on her schedule RIGHT THEN. She sat me down (and she was actually very kind), asked me about my goals, and I burst into tears.

I explained my neverending quest to be strong, HEALTHY, and knowledgeable, and my misery with myself is taking a toll on my marriage, and sob, sob, sob...

She just smiled and wrote one simple phrase onto a piece of paper.

Easy. Ha.

She then told me that I was one of the most open and genuine people she had ever met with. She asked me if I wanted to come back in during HER exercise time frame, and she would teach me the things I've been aching to know.

Since then, after we exercise together, she casually takes out her planner and pencils me in to come in and work out at the same time as her. Again. And again. I feel like I could cry as I'm writing this, because I really CAN'T afford a personal trainer. This girl (a STUDENT, nonetheless) is taking time out of her high intensity exercise regimes to HELP me.

I'm still juicing, but I also want to be strong. And healthy. And while I get used to rewiring my brain and changing my body, I will leave you all with this; JUST ASK.

Ask for help. Be real and genuine. Most people working in that kind of environment are there because they love exercise, being healthy, and they truly want to pass that along to people like you and I.

Just ask, and keep moving. :-)

P.S. The first day I met with the trainer, she gave me some homework and told me to bring in a printout of an exercise regiment. This is what we've been doing ever since: IT'S REALLY HARD.