Eat Less, Move More.

Sounds fairly simple, right?

I know it's been a few months since I've written, but I want to be CONFIDENT in what I write regarding health (plus we've been SO BUSY here!). These past weeks have been completely geared towards exercise and diet research by yours truly. :-)

I walked in to my ($5 per month) gym one weekend and commented to one of the front desk staff about how intimidated I was by all of the equipment, AND I can't afford a personal trainer, which deters me even more. I've literally been immersed in youtube.com videos about how to properly use each machine, just so I didn't look like a fool when I finally got the guts to try some out.

The guy behind the desk was completely sympathetic to my irrational fears of the equipment! He said to come back and he would not only show me a few machines, but he could also give me some diet tips. Um, OKAY!

I went back the next week, and here is where the stars aligned for me.

The front desk girl said the guy I spoke with would be an hour late. I didn't have too much free time that morning, so she casually said "Have you used your free personal training session?". I had actually signed up MONTHS ago, but I didn't expect a call. I used to work the desk at a Gold's Gym in Virginia, and the trainers there would roll their eyes and complain about how people just wanted them to quickly show them every single machine, all the while whining about how they can't afford any more sessions after the free one.

I agreed to meet with the trainer that was there, who just happened to have free time on her schedule RIGHT THEN. She sat me down (and she was actually very kind), asked me about my goals, and I burst into tears.

I explained my neverending quest to be strong, HEALTHY, and knowledgeable, and my misery with myself is taking a toll on my marriage, and sob, sob, sob...

She just smiled and wrote one simple phrase onto a piece of paper.

Easy. Ha.

She then told me that I was one of the most open and genuine people she had ever met with. She asked me if I wanted to come back in during HER exercise time frame, and she would teach me the things I've been aching to know.

Since then, after we exercise together, she casually takes out her planner and pencils me in to come in and work out at the same time as her. Again. And again. I feel like I could cry as I'm writing this, because I really CAN'T afford a personal trainer. This girl (a STUDENT, nonetheless) is taking time out of her high intensity exercise regimes to HELP me.

I'm still juicing, but I also want to be strong. And healthy. And while I get used to rewiring my brain and changing my body, I will leave you all with this; JUST ASK.

Ask for help. Be real and genuine. Most people working in that kind of environment are there because they love exercise, being healthy, and they truly want to pass that along to people like you and I.

Just ask, and keep moving. :-)

P.S. The first day I met with the trainer, she gave me some homework and told me to bring in a printout of an exercise regiment. This is what we've been doing ever since: IT'S REALLY HARD.

Shopping Cart Workout.

A good friend of mine (who used to manage the daycare at my gym) now works at the market down the street from our house. I bumped into her while it was pouring rain and she was bringing in the carts. I commented on how much exercise she must be getting (trying not to make it obvious that she must be MISERABLE lugging shopping carts in while it was freezing and raining. And dark.). Her eyes lit up and she told me that she had lost TWO pants sizes since starting this job.

Well, hello!

Thus, I began my SCAW (shopping cart and workout) research.



1. Park as far away from the entrance as you can (unless, of course, it's night and you have kids with you... obviously).

2. If you don't have kids with you (and it's daylight), DON'T park near a cart return. That way, you still have to push the darn thing back. And if you don't, then you deserve that guilty feeling of leaving your cart in the empty space next to you. I've never done that, of course...

3. Grab a cart from the parking lot, preferably one with a wonky wheel (hey, working ONE side of your abs is better than nothing!), so you have to push it all the way to the store.

4. Use a cart, even if you only have a few items on your list. If I remember correctly, a grocery cart weighs about 50lbs (sound heavy? My toddler weighs 26lbs!).

5. Don't follow your list in order. For example, I usually write my grocery list as things run out. By the end of the week, I have a big messy list that runs me all over the store. Granted, it may cause problems if you keep passing the chip or cookie aisles, but if you stick on some running shoes (because, HEY, this is a workout), you may be able to stay a bit more focused!

6. Ditch the running shoes, wear heels. I know it sounds REALLY stupid (and I don't even like that word), but I can speak from experience. I lived in Virginia for a few years, and right down the street was a Wegmans.

Wegmans.



Why does it look like a church? Because it's meant for people who take food just as seriously as religion. Well, that's what I like to think. :-)

The pictures may not do it justice. It's like Disneyland for foodies, seriously.





Anyway, people treated this place like you were showing up for the red carpet. I would only buy groceries on the days I had actually tried to get ready, and I was almost always wearing heeled boots or high heels (no, not stipper heels, just NORMAL heels). I would leave Wegmans with a full cart and burning calves. Win-win.

Charlize...

Dita...


Emma Stone...


I probably won't EVER do this, but if it works, IT WORKS.

Housewife, I am not.

Yikes. Why do my posts keep beginning with "imperfect" and "not". Way to be a Debbie Downer, Kristen!

But seriously, I'm a stay-at-home mom, NOT a housewife. If I were the latter, I would have dinner planned and cooked in the evening. My laundry would be done and not in piles (albeit clean piles, but piles nonetheless). My kid would be dressed every day, instead of being in jammies about 2-3 days a week... ALL DAY.



Picture the sun setting. It's about 6pm, and it's family time. You're playing on the floor with your tots, and your spouse is relaxing. Then, the question. The Question. "What should we do for dinner?". We look at each other and say in unison "Pizza? Pizza.".

That was before the juice cleanse. Today, my caveman hubster is happy with a little piece of steak and garlic bread, or a burger. Or hot dogs. Or anything else containing meat. Or PIZZA.

My Achilles' heel.

If you are reading this blog, you are either considering a juice cleanse, being judgemental about other's cleanses, ON a juice cleanse, or you like reading about healthy experiences and REALLY like pictures (I admit, I like blogs better when they have photos... really!).

Changing your life is HARD. Especially when you are an addict. It can be drugs, alcohol, sex, caffine... or food. My way of thinking after completing this cleanse has changed for the better, and I HATE it sometimes. I don't crave junk food, but I don't necessarily like the taste of healthy dishes. I have spent many sleepless nights thinking about recipes I used to enjoy and tweaking them significantly so they are healthy.

I thought juicing was tough, but the aftermath is a bit tougher.

One good thing (besides GREAT health!) to come of my recipe experimentation? THIS recipe! Enjoy hot, tasty bruschetta? This recipe is the bees knees! The only thing I change is the rosemary. I don't like spices I can feel with my tongue (ever watch Shallow Hal? I'm the best friend, but instead of being picky with women, I'm THAT picky with food). I use dried rosemary, put it in a zip-loc bag and smash it into powder with a hammer. Then I cut the amount in half and voilà! Delicious hot tomato goodness!

I'm SO [im]perfect, It's not even funny.

I'm not skinny, and I'm not going to pretend to be.

Yes, when you look at my before and after pictures, the difference seems VERY dramatic, but would you like to know how much I weigh?

140lbs. I am still curvy, and I will probably ALWAYS be proportioned this way... but I love it.

My goal for the juice cleanse was not JUST to lose weight, but to get my body healthy from the inside as well. It sounds cliché, but it's the truth. What kind of life can you live when you don't want your own husband to touch you, especially when he's a ruggedly handsome dude?

I've also never let the scale rule my life. Ever since I hit puberty, I've had some va-va-voom hips and a booty to match. In 8th grade, I won "Biggest Appetite" in the yearbook. My jeans size would always surprise my friends, because I carry my weight pretty well.


These classic lyrics define my body shape to a T: Baby Got Back. Ha.

Anyway, I think the main point I am trying to get people to realize is that I still look like a normal woman, and I have not suddenly transformed into some kind of Super-Healthinator. I still juice daily and eat WAY better than I ever have in my life, but I have my moments of weakness. My battle with food will be an ongoing conflict that I will probably have to deal with for the rest of my life.

So, for the readers who keep asking me "How much weight did you gain back?" and "What do you eat when you end the cleanse?", here are some additional Questions Answered, Part Deux.

1. Don't you just gain all of the weight back? Um, NO! 60 days gave me quite a long time to learn how to listen to my body. Going through this cleanse was like having an epiphany about eating. It didn't matter how many hours I spent at the gym, or how hard or how long I ran, because my diet stayed the same so my BODY stayed the same. My weight fluctuates about 5lbs both ways (which I think is the norm, right?). I am happy to say that I have a closet full of new jeans and I am lovin' the way they fit. :-)

2. What did you eat after the cleanse ended? Like you may have seen in a previous post, I had a fish taco as my first meal. I wish I could say I weaned myself back into solid foods by eating fruits, veggies and smoothies (as recommended by the Reboot team), but like I said... I am totally addicted to food. Once I knew my juice cleanse was almost over, my brain became FIXATED on fish tacos. The only other time I remember craving something that bad was

A. When I worked at Hooters (yeah, yeah, I know.) and I couldn't get enough of the hot buffalo shrimp. Those things are NO JOKE. Thank God I had a high metabolism.


B. When I was pregnant and I seriously could not get enough Pepsi into my system. I don't even DRINK soda (or coffee!), but if I could have safely absorbed Pepsi intravenously, I would have.


Folks, listen to the experts. If I could do it over again, I would have eaten raw foods. Unfortunately, I am impatient and imperfect, so I went as healthy as I could while still making something that would make my mouth happy. My stomach didn't hurt or bloat or anything similar (until I ate cheese), but I may have just been lucky...

3. I can't find the 60-Day program on the site...?? They don't actually have the 60-day cleanse that Joe Cross completed in the documentary as a program option on the Reboot website. It is a potentially risky, VERY difficult fast, and they probably want to play it safe by offering shorter versions. AGAIN, before diving headfirst into the full 60 days...

... TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR.

4. So, wait, you STILL aren't a doctor? Erm, no. As I said before, I am not a doctor, dietician, or nutritionist. All I can do is explain what worked for me, and back up my information with some linkage.

I don't know how to end this, so I just want all of you to know...

...that...

...I bought a Shake Weight.

Let the judgments begin. :-)

At my most miserable. No, Kristen! Don't eat the cake!

At my most memorable. Just a reminder that thin ≠ healthy.

My most recent pictures are in the "Boudoir" post (that's all you get, ladies and gents)... healthy and working on myself. :-)

Boudoir! Ooh la la!

What is one of the best gifts you can give yourself after juicing (besides great health)?

A photoshoot!

I was lucky enough to book a session with a friend who is expanding her studio to include boudoir packages. It was such a boost of confidence, and it is worth every penny (because confidence is PRICELESS)!

Plus, it makes a great gift for a significant other, especially with Valentine's Day just around the corner. :-)

Juice on!

Photos by Essence Photography

So Juicy.

Day five, and I'm dreading having to experiment with cooking again. I almost feel more comfortable when I'm juicing (easy grocery shopping, set routine, etc.). Crazy, right? This coming from the girl who used to eat WHATEVER I wanted.

No, seriously.

I remember after I had the Burnin' Love Burger at Red Robin, I think I actually fell in love with it. I soon discovered that I could get a delicious hamburger from Jack in the Box, then drive across the street to Del Taco for the fried jalapenos. The I would stuff the burger full of jalapenos, trying to emulate my precious.

Sad, I know.

Now, I actually don't even CRAVE fast food, which is a first for me! I figure if the cravings for bad food have been eliminated, maybe the craving for good food will begin to pop up!

I really can't get my mind off of fish tacos. They are just SO dern good! I do need to expand my tastes, but in the same way I've always hated veggies, I hate weird spices and flavors (onions, bell peppers, garlic chunks, oregano, etc.).

I may just have to wait until I get older and my tastebuds die...